I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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