..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
This is classic penis vs brain.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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