Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize