remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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