We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
soo... how was my night?
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