Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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