I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
As shirtless as possible
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
