Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
