I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
