hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I need to stop coming to work sober
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
