but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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