Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Found the puke drawer
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
