im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
