You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
