Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
