Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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