I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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