nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
