I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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