Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
