where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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