i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize