i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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