just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
3pm strippers are depressing
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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