Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
