I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
