come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
