When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
