THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
