I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
