I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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