Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
