He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
