I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
