How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
