what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
