New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
