allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
