I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
