Pass out mid-funnel last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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