the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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