i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You can't just leave with hair like that
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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