Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
