I molested 6 butterflies tonight
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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