He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
what day is it and did you see me today?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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