..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
