Don't you send me to vm
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
