I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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