so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
