Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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