you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
