Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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