i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize