Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
