The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize