i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
