The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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