I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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