Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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