GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
